the one way trip.

Sometimes, i shouldnt expect too much out of nothing. sometimes, we should all learn and face it. face the harsh fact. that all is gone. rewind back is just a nonsensical thing. trying to believe that it is not gone yet is the most stupid thing we have done. i surrender. now i admit. i give up. no point. that night everything just showed me clearly. everything is just a plattform for us to keep on believing for nothing. no more that sort. i hate leaving out people and hate being left out. thats it. foolish. i kept thinking i dont feel like going but still something urge me to go. perhaps still the believing that things would be like the past. but i know it will never be. just as i wanted to, people backed out. backed out its still okay. backed out leaving a mess behind just suck. i thought once, our spirit was never to leave anyone behind. was to walk together. but as we separate, our spirit just vanished. we didnt feel strongly for one but just that everything come together. bonding and having a common voice. thats where we had our spirit. but no more that sort. we should all have known. its never about the outing or not. it is about not trying our best anymore. we never seem to take it seriously. we couldnt care less. we assumed many things. assume things on our own. sometimes, it was just not worth it anymore. none of the outings worth anything anymore. it is meaningless with assumptions and all the second thoughts to it. no one now really is being true. we just assume people know and just leave them there. not like the past anymore, when we really wanna make everyone included and would try to pass on the note through our true self and hoping people all know. i guess its us all dont really wanna hang out anymore. with no motivation no incentive to. are we all like monopoly? being blinded only by profits? hah and assuming we do want to maximise profits. forget it people. lets all admit that we all are not that great. i am not. why do people all have the mentality? because we know that what we try to plan always fail now. so just save the effort and just look ahead. since when the friendship turn out this way? even though i know i am behind reality time, i knew for our commitment, i was even more behind fantasy time. it was a time to commit and play a part. i was still looking forward to it. charging my mp3. to think, we even thought of waking up earlier to make sandwiches before the outing. i give up everything for us all. never worth it anymore.

i felt my way on the bus from harbourfront to sentosa now.