our story

our story.
141105

when we wanted to write down all our thoughts about rfc on a blank piece of paper..

when i held the pen in my hand..
and i stared at the white piece of paper..

nothing came out.

i wrote..

blank.
rfc's journey can never be descibed fully on that piece of paper.

we cried.
cried most horribly as much as we can.
tears wouldnt stop.

because of friendship.
because of results.
because of rfc.
because of being afraid to face the world.

never thought we would face this day like that.
with tons of tissues. tons of tears.

the taste of tears is like the sea.

we went ecp today. supposed to be a happy day but..

though i don know my fate
but i wouldnt be spared..
i know myself well enough..
and im really afraid..
i don know simply how to face the world..
face my parents..

these things only rfcians know..
know exactly how each other feel..

no one knows better other than us ourselves..

what we had done is really unimaginable..
no one ever thought of, we thought of..
we're the lamest, the corkest..
and yet bring laughter to ourselves and anyone as we can..

we're jus a bunch of innocent kids..
who only wants to have fun.. and living our life simple..
we didnt meant any harm..

yet the only thing we wanted to do
is to promote together

the only thing we really want..

and life's unfair..
very unfair..

i don know how to describe today but
i cant help it..

i seldom really seldom teared in front of people
and today in front of friends..
we showed every single one of us..
our tears.. our sadness..
nothing much more to hide..

the constant joy we had.
the laughter seems never ending..

and why did tears would come..

and we appeared to be strong..

yet we're weak..

c'mon guys..
i don know wad can i console about..

i really don wanna lose this bunch of good friends..
really don want to..

i really love these bunch of people, god.

and tears never stopped..
people.. be strong, be strong now..

I don know whats today like.
laughter, tears, sea, sweat.

i was waiting for the rain to fall..

all kinds of emotions rising from us..
feeling really speechless..

and tears never once stopped..



the most hurting words can come from your parents.
I dont know what more they want from me.

when you all said these, i did these
but you all are still not happy.

when i heck, i give it all out, i ignore.
you all say i didnt stick to my promise.

tell me, what you guys want?
full of contraddiction.

why not try to talk to me?
why not ask why am i feeling so down?
why not just show me more concern and care?

why do you guys have to keep scolding and scolding?

so that i can keep tearing and tearing is it?

everything's fallen apart.
i cannot take it anymore.

what are tears.
we cried till we're numbed.
i no longer know whats tears.
but my heart seems to hurt.
hurt a lot.

try to understand me please..

and you can threaten and scold me..
take my phone away if you guys like..
jus don give me money if you guys like..

then don expect me to follow the things you all still wanted..
its impossible since you're breaking the rules..

expect me to come home everyday?
then tell me.. what is home?
what is home when no one is around
everyone seems to be involved in their activity even if they're here..
i know im somehow too childish to think this way..

but im still a kid to you and you know im really weak and vulnerable..
i need a lot of care and concern and love from you guys too wad..

i know you guys are tied down to work.

thats too much to ask of your time..

life's jus too unfair..

i always thought home is something i carried it all around when everyone's present..

i cant stop tearing.
freak. i feel damn weak.

let the rain fall..

everything's fallen apart.

RFC.
141105