time machine

I dont know why but time really crawls. it feels like i never had to wait so long for days to come. but this is really killing me. even though each day pass with doing nothing. it still aint moving at all. what has happen.

i feel sorry for affecting people's mood. but i aint got any choice. i really hate doing so but i cant get better.

maybe i have nowhere to vent my anger. maybe you didnt come at the right time when i wanted to flare at myself. i dont understand why. i never understood myself. i never understood why does things pull me all the way down. i never felt so dead. never felt living without life. i cant seem to enjoy. why do i allow things to pull away my joy. why do i allow things to upset me. where im the one who controls my own emotions. why. i feel so low. why. what can i do. i never experience things like that before. maybe its time to grow up kid. i never mature. i never mature in life and relationship. i never got any better. i only got worse. because i couldnt understand human complications. the only safest place is in my mummy's comfort. the only one i unknowningly expose my real self. the only one i don have to think twice. the only one i can rely on and trust.

mummy, i need you tonight cos i cant get to sleep real bad.

get me a time machine please. i would stop.