filled with many thoughts and thoughts that cannot be said. cannot be expressed. and i dont know what to do with them.

past few weeks- i get too lost. crazy from the spin. the constant cycle. i call it the routines. but i was looking forward to this day. that i skipped the routines happilly on thursday with meh. what was happy nowadays. got too numbed that i no longer know my emotions. at least for now im free from the spin. i was looking forward to this day. ironically, looking forward to home's boring.

went from crowds to nature. was at the coast on friday. yj's jogathon. so i went cycling with a couple of friends. i wasnt resisting to cycling. but i just couldnt explain myself that day. i can never find reasons to hate cycling. i love to cycle. but maybe i find myself so weird. so weird to even understand. i was happy again. to be free from routines. as we cycled away. god always does his thing. to a point i get too lost too confused with what i was feeling. blinded from all things. it always happen. too much of coincidences. i almost couldnt believe. and i skipped. many times. too much questions to question but to whom. i saw that shark in the sky. i got too excited. just like a small little kid. i felt an unexplained happiness. too sudden. i caught that image as it flew above my head. after 2 rounds of waiting, i can never see the plane above anymore. maybe it seems like god planned it all. he preferred not to let me taste happiness too much more. or maybe he -




i wanted to cycle till the end. even though i dont know what lay beneath it. but i cycle with immense curiousity almost wanting to discover whatever i could.

it was only me. personal. no one ever entered this world of imagination.
it was few weeks ago