somehow thought of policeman's best bud. and i guess he would be enjoying it. india- somehow gives a different sort of feeling. but i think if im there for a holiday, i would enjoy it. walking through streets and markets, it gives a very country home feeling. but right now, whenever i think of india, i only think of the guide. and theres literature test on monday.

guess everyone feel the very same way. no matter how frustrated we are with ourselves, we can only suppress it down. pretend that nothing has happen and we are not beaten. cos we dont want to let the last bit of hope confidence just fade away. this piece of tragedy. this part of agony and pain. really is unbearable and terrible. school takes away our confidence bit by bit and gives a load of work. time is lacking. i know that. but still, we need breaks at times. we have to rest. before we carry on.

results are dead, black and white. but it kills us.
lets pretend, keep on pretending.

once monday begins, i seem to have sit for a rollercoaster ride and its never-ending. sometimes i got hit terribly. sometimes i got so fearful that i fainted. sometimes i kept on shouting screaming for the ride to end, but it never end. no one heard anything. the operator just left me screaming and shouting. frantically. i need help. desperately. please get me off.

and weekends is like sitting on a ferris wheel. when it turns and rotates, we just get so mesmerized with the scenery and time slips away slowly. but it stops and demand for us to get off. the colours we saw were heavenly. a world.

school is like an amusement park. just that it doesnt amuse and it doesnt entertain. only friends and people do. the only joy left in this whole amusement park. sounds pathetic. tragic perhaps. i just said. life now set us spinning. be it, rollercoaster or ferris wheel, we are the ones trapped in this cycle. and we have totally no control over it. time.

I guess i never dared to sleep before 12am. i never reach home before 5 only for once when my mother came fetch me home from school. this is the school life. the routine. the spin. the trouble. even though i dont know what im doing, but im just still doing. life gets so complicated and confusing. that i lost my way through this huge amazon.

my eyes are closing, thats when i get the signal. my brain is no longer functioning. no matter how hard i force myself. i couldnt set it right. i couldnt set myself right. i couldnt set this piece of tragedy right. whatever it is, i'll see you next weekends again. since computers serve as an incentive after i've completed my tasks for the day. but never once during the weekday (if i controlled myself not to use the com even if i have not finish my work), i never get the chance to touch it. goodbye carousels.

goodbye light. hello darkness.

we'll carry it on