[[ failure ]]

no more. no more laughter.

i don understand how it would become this stage. i don understand why. wads the sudden change.

everyone is telling me.. its alrite.. its ok.. but i dont know why.. it will never heal..

for i inherited his stubborness. just like him.

perfect, dad. thats really perfect.

and who is he? who am i? who are we?

I cannot stop thinking..

why would it end up to be so strain now..

I tried but i was ignored. i was answered some lame questions with silence. whats more to say?

what happen out dere?

It had never happen to me in these 16 years of life..

everyone tellin me its ok.. it will be ok soon but i know it wont.. i tried to but he isnt bothered.

And i got him.

I will nvr speak to him ever.

do you know how he used to wake me up? this might be a lil childish.. he would purposely come and tickle me or splash water or help me massage.. He would spend 10 mins playing with me getting me up..

and now do you know the difference?

he cant be bothered. and he.. and he called my phone thru the house phone without even entering my room.. my phone sleeps with me.. and today i left my phone in the living room to recharge and he jus slide the house phone into my room and called thru his handphone.. the ringing is continuous.. so i would wake up..

do you know how much how much it hurts me.. how much he breaks my heart?

He might be behaving childishly.. but thats not the whole point.. he doesnt even want to speak to me.. and he carnt be bothered with me..

and now i refer him to my mother's husband.

who is him anyway? sometimes it make me wanna get up without him calling me up.. i hate it.. so i asked my mum to wake me up but i always go back to slp. that rainy day he fetch me to school under the instructions of my mum to send me and my brother to school. the journey to yishun he doesnt even talk to me..

and nowadays i set alarm with no use at all.. i set 3 alarms.. my alarm clock.. my handphone which is all beside my bed only and in the end my mother woke up and can come to my room which is like 2 rooms away to off it.. its only beside me!!

perhaps for the 16 years.. i had been used to human alarm clock..

Perfect.. for you stranger in my house..

he doesnt love me already..

What a failure i am.. forever staying so happy in school.. now im tearing..

I GOT NO FRIENDS.

I REALISED I DON HAVE ANY.

those superficial frens i dont want. my own close frens doesnt even called back. and no one even really bother. when i said they bother. why cant they come and bother in the first place? if i dont say you people never know.. and its the same reason as when u need me i am here..

go away people.

i cannot take it alr.

i can wake up as early as whenever if u need me.. when i need you people.. why is dere so many reasons?














































































im a failure for 16 years.

can you imagine?

don come and talk to me.



jus go away.