[[ Mixture of rain + sweat + tears ]]

[[ Mixture of rain + sweat + tears ]]

How should I describe this day? This long awaited day finally arrived infront of me. How could i say it.

This long day of tears. The most energetic day in my life.

Its the mixture of rain, sweat and tears.

Whats this date? Its not only painly the reunion of the school. Yes. The out of the o level results for 2004. And we are the parties involved.

The feeling is so undescribable. Crucial. How did I ever spend my weekend waiting for today? And looking back.. how did i spent my 2004? Everything is clear.

I got my results. It wasnt that good but it wasnt that bad. For me.. Its good.. I am contented.. I am surprised actually.. I am an ambitious person.. But this time round.. I am really happy.. really contented..

I got 16 for L1R5 and 13 for L1R4. Its good isnt it? For me.. It definitely is.

I didnt know what came to me.. I sat dere cry and cry.. Like a small little kid.. All I did was to cry.. I couldnt control my tears.. I thought it would be the tears of joy.. It wasnt like what i thought.. I didnt know what was that feeling.. I felt numb.. I felt nothing.. And all I did was crying... I didnt know why I became like that.. but the sort of feeling.. is probably relief..

I was remembering last year.. The worried faces.. There was this girl who did well.. and she kept crying.. At that point of time.. I was lamenting that she is crazy.. do well still cry.. It actually happen to me..

I didnt know why.. It just came.. Tears streamed down.. Not within my control..

It was a great accomplishment for me..I really wanna scream I DID IT. From a 38 during mid year to a mere 20 during prelims to today's 16. I did a lot though. sacrifice a lot.

Tears of comfort and relief.

And I did sth terribly wrong..

I neglected the feelings of the others.. I did well and require everyone crowding to me giving me tissue.. consolling me.. I feel bad.. I apologise.. to everyone.. I may be labelled as a hypocrite but i am terribly sorry.. I didnt know why but the feelings just came like that.. sorry.. really sorry..

And after it.. I felt dumb and stupid. And It was really nice to have so many people concerned and by your side.. I didnt mean to do it to you guys but i really couldnt control..

And even before getting results.. My tears already rolled down at a high speed.. It was even hard to calm down..

[[ My parents ]]

They were happy. They were glad.

It was kind of phew~ that they didnt mind.. I thought they had harbour high hopes on me.. I didnt let them down at least..

My parents can to be said to have a really good sleep. They can sleep without worry. Their only worry about me is no longer there. They are satisfied.

And I really feel happy that it somehow comforts them..

It doesnt matter which school you go but the O's is rather impt.. It sorts of determine your future road.. And they can lessen their worries.. It is so comforting to know that both of your children make it to the JC and it leads to the university.. They had a safe road down..My children can do well.. It is heart warming..

Even though 16 isnt anywhere compared to my brother who got 11.. but they can rest their minds.. I was happy i didnt let them down.. They were proud of me..

I went home and they were waiting for me.. we were talking for a very long time bout it..I can see from their expressions.. I really did them proud..

And it doesnt really matter which secondary school you go to.. And o's is not scary.. perhaps I am still freaked out.. It is too good to be true..

The friends who were there. The teachers who helped. Thanks. thank you so much. I had my day.

[[ Before ]]

It was 10+am and we were meeting. There is victor, ronald, shiaoloong, carmen, gera, wan er, chia ping, mei ping and me. We ate our breakfast at bendemeer mac.

Took a train down to plaza singapura. Hit the arcade. spending quite some time in dere. We then walk to Paradiz to have a game of pool. Siying, Qiwei, Meishenm came.

We were worrying every minute. feeling butterflies in our stomach.. I was afraid but i didnt know why I wasnt that afraid.. Someone called to say that the passing rate for english is 66% and we freaked out. play also couldnt play in peace.

We managed to keep our cool.. met up with hassan and make our way to bendemeer. time is running out and its alr 2pm.. we reached there late. the statistics were over. It was time to get our results...

The 66% was 96.6% and it really freaked us out so much. sighs.

It was rather hot.. rushing down.. and I am perspiring.. One by one.. slowly.. they went up.. smiles on their faces.. everyone i know is basically happy..

I was the last and before even mrs lo showed to me.. I was crying like one crazy woman.. Everyone was telling me to calm down simply bcos i couldnt.. I could not fail english.. If i did.. I couldnt go JC..

I took adhi's results long ago and i couldnt just face up with the reality..I went back to the seat pray hard and still didnt dare to get it.

I was the last up there. And i burst out crying and smiling.. too confused..

[[ The so called celebration ]]

I walked out of the school. It was raining. I was pespiring.. I was crying.. It was the combination of everything.

We went town. walk and talk. minus the minor details.

We went bugis and they dine in a japanese restaurant. Everyone did so well. It was worth celebrating.

And honestly.. 4E3 did very well.. Other years.. Compared.. We did so much better.. and a couple number of us.. quite a handful are qualified for JC..

Reached home quite late. It ends well and feeling sleepy. outta here.

The most energetic day and the longest day.

Will never forget.