[[ Full of regrets ]]

[[ Full of regrets ]]

Now I am full of regrets.. Why I didnt study harder and get better results... looking at the JAE booklet.. I got basically no where to go.. I can only choose from the 4 schools.. what the hell man.. sighs.. wad should i do? where should i go? how? Its killing me..

I am so so so confused.. I obviously didnt like the poly route cos i wan to go university besides the poly courses.. can faint..

And luckilly MOE extended the date to monday or else i have to decide by today.. and its like hell.. Where Where WHERE?

Now as you are reading my blog entry.. pretend its you.. there is no favourism.. cannot be biased.. This is your choices..

-Yishun Junior College

I've been there for the first three months.. hmmms wad shall I say.. The people i know dere.. its fun and the ppl i hanged out with in YJ are mostly all staying.. Everyday in YJ is fun and play.. We can laugh all day.. And we skipped whatever lectures.. whatever tutorials and play poker cards.. do whatever things.. With temp class, we can laugh and play whole day.. with perm class also..

I regconise the people.. I know roughly how to walk there.. I know i had what bus to take.. I know the teachers.. Everything its already known to me.. I already adapted to the environment.. I hate changing environment..

But the only thing is I skipped too much lectures.. I couldnt catch up on anything.. And the teachers i got for permanent class isnt that good.. Well i can say i dont like the way they teach and dont like them.. But i had seen other good teachers as well.. And some lecturers are really interesting.. They are fierce and strict but i like because I need someone to push me.. No one would do that.. I know I have to grow up.. To take things on my hand.. But i am only 16.. the energetic period..

And the tests so far.. I had been failing so much.. I really couldnt catch up and I feel so stressed without knowing anything.. but I still hadnt wake up.. I am still playing.. I never skipped school in primary school, secondary school.. ever.. and now? Is it due to influence? What am i supposed to do?

Influence.. How can i ever let myself ever known this word.. I shouldnt be like this.. No one can influence me except myself but right now?

The people i know.. They are friendly and fun for most of dem.. If I were to go.. I wouldnt be so sad of the friendship we made.. but somehow I feel sad.. Its rather a pity.. They were only acquaintance and probably friends.. I somehow dont bear to leave as well..

And the environment that i am familiarise with.. Its already comfortable to me.. I dont wanna feel awkward and out of place anyone.. I dont wanna feel uncomfortable anymore.. I dont wanna go other places.. however i was thinking should i try out.. perhaps i like it much more.. but what if i dont like it?

Serangoon Junior College

I used to dread this college. I dont like the name. dont like dont like.

But to this date.. I have no choice but to accept the fact that I might enter this college..And my thinking is rather different now.. Its alrite..

Carmen.. someone i battled with during the o's period.. we study together.. laugh together.. she is one of my good friend i must say.. She is my partner for 2 years..and counting back.. I know her for 4 years..

We do things almost together.. Its fun and I would love to be in same college.. same class as her.. then she can study with me together since I am so slack.. we can push ourselves to study together...

but to change an environment.. I seriously have to consider.. I have to start all over again.. Its hard.. but imagine i can start anew again.. I can be hardworking.. I can make new friends.. though i might dread it.. The process is really hard.. you have to keep saving to the friendship bank.. but i might be good friends with them.. I hadnt met anyone really that i can become really good friends with..

In another words.. am i considering that I am going sr because carmen is going? I would really love to have a friend to study with me.. I wont feel uncomfortable.. My laughter can be back.. We can battled together again..

InYJ.. Its all about me..

I hadnt mention that carmen couldnt go YJ simply bcos its too far for her and she got no bus.. She can only choose SR..

And I dont know what bus to go to SR.. had to start all over again.. -restart.. you know?

Catholic Junior College

Previously I had very good impression of this school..I like the name.. I like the uniform.. Anyway uniform doesnt matter..

But Catholic.. People dere are mostly english speaking.. Its good but I feel awkward speaking english.. I dont speak well too..

And the people going catholic are mostly single sex school.. I dont mean to be biased but i dont have a really good impression of them..

Some I met in YJ.. They really irritates me much.. To me they are just too horrible but some i met doesnt.. but it already frighten me so much.. now i condemm it all.. I cannot stand the way they displayed themselves..

Hedi going to catholic..And my mother called me go with her.. so we can go school and go home together and can go out together also (*grin.. my line)

But since i dont really like it..probably its out of my choice..

[[ At the crossroads ]]

once again at the crossroads.. Actually shouldnt think so bad about cannot making up my mind.. how many times in one's life.. can one actually stuck.. Its gonna be my future so i must think clearly.. I cannot be so quick in deciding.. Have to consider carefully..

And as we grow up.. we seems to be stuck.. at least we consider carefully.. showing we do grow up.. progressing from one stage to another stage.. we seems to be at crossroads alot times recently but its a road everyone had to go thru.. so I have to plan again..

See you after the crossroads.

Feeling so much calm after this few sentences.. phews~ I still have some time left.. Had to decide fast and seriously..