[[ The realistic world ]]
[[ The realistic world ]]
The realistic world is gettin me frustrated. what have i done exactly?
People shun away from me? Or am i being too sensitive but they no longer care about me. My friends i should say that.
realistic.
Friends getting more and more impatient with me. What have I done exactly? Why could simply no one understand me. My world is falling apart soon. No one cares still.
I couldnt be sensitive. Their actions, thoughts and everything was so frustrated.
Yet no one can save me.
I am gettin impatient too. I felt so alone. felt so lonely. Everyone is ignoring me. Ignoring me mentally. hurting me mentally.
I had a crazy idea. I was on the bus and i pray real hard for an accident that could let me be in coma for days. Maybe someone will notice and pity me. I need some pity even if like that.
Nothing is same again. Everything changes. Everyone changed.
I reached home 12am today. My mother in a rage. scolds like hell. I dont care. Let her rattle on if she likes. She will understand someday why i did this. I know she is worried and couldnt sleep. but someday she will understand my actions.
I hate telling lies and making up stories and stories.. I have to make up excuses why am i late. I dont have to lie in the past but it was like a part of me nowadays..
No one understands why. Sometimes me too.
[[ The last minute barbeque ]]
It didnt turn out way too bad. we got plenty of food. unfinshed food. reasons is only 6 persons turn up. Thats me, sly, weijun, kim wee, zheng long and his girlfren.
I went down to the adidas warehouse sale today. I took an hour to go dere just for that adidas sale and I didnt get any stuff from adidas except the waterbottles which are free. I got myself a pair of salomon blades which costs 250 bucks. I am learning to blade so my mum ask me if i wanna get one. So i said ok. And I got it.
And 50 bucks for 1 waterbottle. Which really attracts me alot.. Eversince my fila waterbottle is gone.. I want to get another and today just nice I got 5.. grinning all the way..
And i told my mum let this blades be my reward for doing well in O's so that baby g watch and that reebok bag is strike off.. Its alrite. I can get that bag with my pay the next time. And that watch too but my parents would grow suspicious how i get the money from. ahh better not.
I reached parkway which was about 3 or 4? And we booked the pit for the whole day and we only start using at 6 -.-" We had a really hard time gathering the people. And we went to NTUC to get our stuff.. spend quite some time in dere..
And first time i went bbq with 5 ppl and we didnt touch sand and water. All we did is barbeque, eat and talk.
It was actually nice.. Zheng long and his girlfriend left quite early.. And Left the 4 of us.. We talked all the way.. Also didnt know why we got so many things to talk about and by that time the call came.. It was already 11.. time flies.. If not for that call.. I wouldnt want to leave.. I just feel like chatting with dem all the way.. And when we hurry and pack the stuff.. Nature calls.. So by the time i reached home..
12pm. Didnt make it before that. So (step)mum scolded me like hell.. =P
Yeaps. My mum did yelled? Not really. She was furious. All the late nights in a week in a row... which mum wouldnt?
Mum, I didnt go out to play everyday. I went to work but i couldnt tell you that cos you wouldnt allow me to work. I want to earn a little more money and I dont like to ask from you. you get me? you dont now. But hopefully one day you will understand. What a situation I am in.
The most horrible night. I felt so alone. Everyone ignores me.
My dad didnt speak to me much. He usually does and tonight my brother and him chatters a lot. He doesnt even want to bother with me. If its you, How would you felt?
Terrible? It sure does. It hurts so much. I felt ignored.
Yet I couldnt blame them. They have their reasons to be mad at me. I had my reasons but i had no reasons to be mad at them. I just want to be understood.
Tmr I am not going to school. I miss some of my classmates though. It is the last day. I should go but I wanna blade tmr and I couldnt reach home late. you know. so I had no choice.
Maybe I wont see them in my lives anymore. Be carefree. Take it easy. Friends come and go. Who bothers?
And my mum accompany me down all the way to Expo. It must have been tough on her during that 1 hr journey but she dont wanna drive. And we changed 3 lines. From boonkeng to dhoby ghaut to city hall. My mum also very happy looking how thrilled I looked at my new blades.
Though somehow i prefer to get a watch but i didnt regret much. I really wanna learn blading.
People changes with time.
The realistic world is gettin me frustrated. what have i done exactly?
People shun away from me? Or am i being too sensitive but they no longer care about me. My friends i should say that.
realistic.
Friends getting more and more impatient with me. What have I done exactly? Why could simply no one understand me. My world is falling apart soon. No one cares still.
I couldnt be sensitive. Their actions, thoughts and everything was so frustrated.
Yet no one can save me.
I am gettin impatient too. I felt so alone. felt so lonely. Everyone is ignoring me. Ignoring me mentally. hurting me mentally.
I had a crazy idea. I was on the bus and i pray real hard for an accident that could let me be in coma for days. Maybe someone will notice and pity me. I need some pity even if like that.
Nothing is same again. Everything changes. Everyone changed.
I reached home 12am today. My mother in a rage. scolds like hell. I dont care. Let her rattle on if she likes. She will understand someday why i did this. I know she is worried and couldnt sleep. but someday she will understand my actions.
I hate telling lies and making up stories and stories.. I have to make up excuses why am i late. I dont have to lie in the past but it was like a part of me nowadays..
No one understands why. Sometimes me too.
[[ The last minute barbeque ]]
It didnt turn out way too bad. we got plenty of food. unfinshed food. reasons is only 6 persons turn up. Thats me, sly, weijun, kim wee, zheng long and his girlfren.
I went down to the adidas warehouse sale today. I took an hour to go dere just for that adidas sale and I didnt get any stuff from adidas except the waterbottles which are free. I got myself a pair of salomon blades which costs 250 bucks. I am learning to blade so my mum ask me if i wanna get one. So i said ok. And I got it.
And 50 bucks for 1 waterbottle. Which really attracts me alot.. Eversince my fila waterbottle is gone.. I want to get another and today just nice I got 5.. grinning all the way..
And i told my mum let this blades be my reward for doing well in O's so that baby g watch and that reebok bag is strike off.. Its alrite. I can get that bag with my pay the next time. And that watch too but my parents would grow suspicious how i get the money from. ahh better not.
I reached parkway which was about 3 or 4? And we booked the pit for the whole day and we only start using at 6 -.-" We had a really hard time gathering the people. And we went to NTUC to get our stuff.. spend quite some time in dere..
And first time i went bbq with 5 ppl and we didnt touch sand and water. All we did is barbeque, eat and talk.
It was actually nice.. Zheng long and his girlfriend left quite early.. And Left the 4 of us.. We talked all the way.. Also didnt know why we got so many things to talk about and by that time the call came.. It was already 11.. time flies.. If not for that call.. I wouldnt want to leave.. I just feel like chatting with dem all the way.. And when we hurry and pack the stuff.. Nature calls.. So by the time i reached home..
12pm. Didnt make it before that. So (step)mum scolded me like hell.. =P
Yeaps. My mum did yelled? Not really. She was furious. All the late nights in a week in a row... which mum wouldnt?
Mum, I didnt go out to play everyday. I went to work but i couldnt tell you that cos you wouldnt allow me to work. I want to earn a little more money and I dont like to ask from you. you get me? you dont now. But hopefully one day you will understand. What a situation I am in.
The most horrible night. I felt so alone. Everyone ignores me.
My dad didnt speak to me much. He usually does and tonight my brother and him chatters a lot. He doesnt even want to bother with me. If its you, How would you felt?
Terrible? It sure does. It hurts so much. I felt ignored.
Yet I couldnt blame them. They have their reasons to be mad at me. I had my reasons but i had no reasons to be mad at them. I just want to be understood.
Tmr I am not going to school. I miss some of my classmates though. It is the last day. I should go but I wanna blade tmr and I couldnt reach home late. you know. so I had no choice.
Maybe I wont see them in my lives anymore. Be carefree. Take it easy. Friends come and go. Who bothers?
And my mum accompany me down all the way to Expo. It must have been tough on her during that 1 hr journey but she dont wanna drive. And we changed 3 lines. From boonkeng to dhoby ghaut to city hall. My mum also very happy looking how thrilled I looked at my new blades.
Though somehow i prefer to get a watch but i didnt regret much. I really wanna learn blading.
People changes with time.
posted by gardenfestival at 1:31 AM
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