pictured  

class is so fun with you 2 around. 

loves 

the 3 musketeers 

the usual 857 passengers 

pictured simplicity 

grey-coloured world.

i thought. i shouldnt have come school late today. it was just an exposure. just to let me see that i am flawed. am i accepted? like always, no. rejected. dettached. especially in this so lost world of mine. everything was greyed.

sometimes, i thought i had already confirm myself. i know that it would affect me even if i am rejected and dettached with people around me. because i know i choose to stay that way. but sometimes, being so sure, i become unsure. i wasnt really confident of myself and i should totally stand firm on what i thought so. but this universe is just so contraddicting. i am so.

just suddenly felt so emotic that i cannot lift my spirits up. i feel so down. i think of almost all negative things now. am i negative or am i being shown to being negative? just sometimes, somehow.

the world is grey-coloured. now.

time machine

i guess the only great thing about being unable to fly, that is to watch the stars from earth. i think that is where the stars are the most beautiful. to be captivated by the falling stars and the perfect horizons. to watch things from far. those things are almost perfect art pieces. unreachable things are always the nicest things in the universe.

my definition of simplicity is just the way things work and nature. things like rain, stars, sea etc gets me very excited. no one can best capture rain. i searched for pictures of rain but i can see almost nothing. its not about your skill but that is the gift heavens gave us. the joy to watch rain. to calm and cool. the art piece that heavens left for us. these things are in motion. no one can ever have it on their own. it is only a moment for everyone. the only moment for people to admire. to be relieved. things are the best left on its own.

i enjoy every moment of rain. only irritates me when my shoes are wet. i love the feeling of stamping into the puddles of water and irritate people. i love the feeling of drenched in the rain with familiar faces. like how we used to play in the rain when we're young. like how we got scolded for playing in the rain. life now is like how we avoid the rain. like how we grew into adults and avoid a wondrous thing left for us. i love the days where we're carefree and nothing would ever bother us. and rain obviously does not stop us. we're so free. happy. satisfied. our world is coloured and it left an impact there. still, it does. i love the smell of rain. i feel refreshed as always. like how it brightens me when im in the class feeling sleepy and i smelt the rain.

people might think im crazy but i dont care. its me. wonderful things are left for me. hah! like how the stars shine for me. how the rain fall for me. how the sound of waves sweep the sea for me. how the sound of nature called for me. how the way things work for me. no one knows what its like to feel the feelings like i do.

rain is just like fireworks. i adore the sight of both. but one was granted free most of the time but not appreciated as much. one was granted a few times a year and got spectacular crowds.

i go where i go, with it in my heart.
paused. because i appreciate it.
i go where i go, the rain falls when it falls.

but
my dreams; they arent as empty.


i just need to unwind in my time machine. revolve; stop.
paused; play.
rewind, forward.

mr phay's world-class

I went amk mac to study with the same very few. we have the vips today. our natural magnet and the long lost chua. glad to have them around us. we're improving. rfc's slowly building up. although we have our main priority which is studying, but soon. after As. i am waiting for that day. the day where we know that we're all back together.

anw around dinnertime, some went off and some stayed. in the end, we went off at 930. reach the bus stop probably about 9.42pm and i stood at the opposite side of the bus stop sadly, watching my bus went off. i missed my bus. so great i walked slowly and waited for the bus. and you know. zoom zoom zoom. 30 mins had past and not even my bus in sight. i planned to reach home at 1020 and when its about that time, i'm still stuck in ang mo kio. in the end, i waited like nuts for a total of 1hour and 10 mins. i reached home at 1130pm.

and i didnt know how the hour pass by. i was walking up and down because i reckon sitting down or standing still makes me feel like its longer. i was practically walking here and there. and going mad about the bus. and Singapore want to have a world-class transport system. joke. seriously i thought it was normal to wait probably about half an hour and gets a little complains. but one hour was too much. okay enough. i shant talk so much already since i have grumbled all the way home. now i agree, hongkong's transport system is so much faster and efficient.

too far from world-class, singapore.

try to do something before you implement the 20 minutes system. i dont see the transport system improving to somewhere near the goal.

i'm tired. off to sleep.

Fear

i feel like i've been made to watch a whole row of horror movies and then made to sit a few times crazy roller coaster and being forced to have insects crawling all over me.

no one know what its like. to be me.

i feel so afraid.

click

went out studying with ck shengyu roger jwo and nan. didnt really study much but at least we get to ask things we dont know. end up we went to play pool. kept seeing these few people nowadays.

ytd was national day celebration and track and field meet. it was really a tired day. am glad that in the end, canberra still managed to win the cheerleading. it was really tough. relieved that my effort paid off. it was really good. i thank everyone out there who was involved. i really had fun. canberrians rock. love you guys.

caught click ytd with the very same few. after that,we went to talk rot like we always did. the very same few. with them, the feeling is still there. actually it doesnt really matter who went off, as long we're still there. thats enough. instead of attending to those we know its impossible to retract back, why not place emphasis on ourselves? we're gathering because we shared something in common. relationships in life is something with no anwers cos we can never predict whats going to happen next.

i feel drained. i miss 2005. i miss rfc's days tgther. i miss 127. if i had the universal remote controller, i would rewind. rewind back to the days. rewind and we're back. this time round, i would try my best to play hard and study hard and keep everyone's the same. so we're all be j2s. together. so we can finish As and do whatever we like with nothing holding us back. i thought all good man needs a break. let us all return even though it is not possible.

now the very same few were like stuck in 2005. and that we cannot move on. we cannot still accept and acknowledge the fact that things were never going to be like the same. we're like the ones who turned on the menu and view the scenes back. left with regrets and sadness. we watched helplessly as things change in front of us. we're all behaving like michael.

feel sad. theres nothing we can do.

Buzzzzzzz

I'm feeling great. though i'm real busy these days. but what i am doing might not be worth in the eyes of people but to me, i'm feeling a sense of accomplishment. i'm feeling great. being pushed all the way up to the seat of a captain really shocked me. it was never shiping. but if you realise from my life, i am progressing step by step. it wasnt really the captain part but what you do as the captain. i cant believe i spoke in front of the school. i was forced to face my disability. i could never speak well in front of large groups. but i had the opportunity to do so. although i was afraid and my hands were shaking but i was proud of myself. because i know i had overcome my fear. i might not speak as well as others but i've done it. theres really many things i am going to do.

sometimes i was given the chance by many. but i feel so condemned by my parents. they dont seem to give me any chance. immediately they sentence me to death. they didnt even spend thoughts about it and just deliver their sentence. they would only thinks on the negative side. no wonder my brother doesnt likes to explain himself, i finally understand. i was just asking about a malaysia trip and i was rejected immediately without giving me chance to speak. they simply dont understand. when i heard the no, i knew it. i cant be bothered to try and fight anymore. i cant even fight for my chance because i know it will not be possible. why cant they ever think on the other side. my dad begins to talk about me working. he always disallow me to work. it wasnt about the money at all. it was in the past when i finished my o's. but i began to discover some parts of work. i feel accomplished. i am learning. but i was only given the chance last year. i feel pampered. i should stay home and do nothing. thats what they like most. but why should i since i dont even get to see them as much. i have so much things to rant. i feel so unfair. i admit i kept going out last yr and i wasnt at home most of the time but it was different this yr. i only goes out during weekends and only weekdays when i had some reasons. and they dont have to keep reminding me that i kept going out. i already stopped. and i told them wherever i go. what should they keep on condemning me. whats wrong. what did i do. people's parents sent them for courses and seminars. they seem to understand more about the opportunities. when can i ever get them to know. when can i ever feel free.

right now, i cannot be bothered about that anymore. i am just sighing. i am just wondering when will i ever had the day. at least let me be off.

sometimes, i really hated the idea of being simple. you know, i start to put my simplicity theory away and away. i am getting away from being simple. i dont want to be simple anymore. i want to be someone useful and accomplished. no one knows what its like to. I have big dreams too! hah! and i am going to be a billionaire's sister soon! =d and lemme gather my thoughts for a while. i need to plan my future too. i am going to be successful.

but my dreams; they aren't as empty